ARIES: Just one. You want to make something of it?!
TAURUS: One, but just "try" to convince them that the burned-out lightbulb is useless and should be thrown away.
GEMINI: Two, but the job never gets done--they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!
CANCER: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them get through the grief process.
LEO: Leos don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo in, to do the job for them while they're out.
VIRGO: Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.
LIBRA: Er, two. Or maybe one. No--on second thought, make that two. Is that OK with you?
SCORPIO: That information is strictly confidential and is shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchial Order.
SAGITTARIUS: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out lightbulb?
CAPRICORN: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes!
AQUARIUS: Well, you have to remember everything is energy, so..................
PISCES: Lightbulb? What lightbulb?